The Right Mindset You Should Develop To Be Charismatic

Photo by Mubariz Mehdizadeh on Unsplash

Charismatic people are unique.

It feels like they are always emitting an aura of confidence, they are attractive and persuasive, and of course, likeable. Remember in your usual social gathering, there’s always a person being the centre of attention, everyone loves him, and you might wonder, how to become as likeable as that person?

It doesn’t require much explanation that knowing how to be charismatic will improve your leadership skills, easier to build connections and convince people to help you out. If you want to become successful in life, knowing how to be charismatic is essential.

The thing is, not only it takes a lifetime to learn, there are many ways to develop charisma. In case you want to become more likeable on camera to build your tribe online or make your Call-To-Action more effective, you can check out this article.

As I said, there are too many things you can work on, and as a starter, I want to talk about the number one mindset we should have when it comes to developing charisma. It’s so important to get this right before you research and practice your communications skills, or else it could cause an adverse effect.

Should you care about what other people think?

You probably have heard these wisdom sayings before:

These two wisdom quotes suggest a theory: The key to becoming more charismatic is, don’t care about what other people think.

While it’s important to be yourself and be authentic, you won’t get very far if you are inconsiderate. I used to have a friend always go her own way, and her action often upset others. Even we brought that up a couple of times, she never listened, not long after we were fed up and decided not to catch up with her again.

You see, not caring what others think is bad, and that’s not how you build longlasting relationships with people.

In short, you must care.

But hey, isn’t that contradicting with the wisdom saying? Plenty of influencers said you shouldn’t. Your gut feeling might also believe that’s the right thing to do.

Let me get straight to the point: The key mindset you should have when it comes to developing charisma is, care about what other people think, but not what they think ABOUT YOU.

That’s the key distinction between self-centred and charismatic. Here’s the thing: People tend to care the most about themselves, and that is human nature. By caring and showing interest in other people’s lives and feelings, they’ll appreciate it and like you more.

It’s like starting a business. You create a product to solve a pain point of the customer, not creating something you want to create. The only way to find out their pain point is to put yourself in their shoes.

That’s why I like to be proactive. I think about how I can provide value upfront before they ask.

As much as I like to care about others, I don’t bother thinking about what they think about me. You should remember the fact that you can’t make everyone like you, no matter how many good things you have done or how much you have achieved.

Maybe they don’t buy your belief. Maybe they don’t like your personality. Or maybe they just don’t like how you look and speak. Whatever the reason is, there will always be someone who has negative feelings about you, it doesn’t feel nice, and it’s very tempting to change your behaviour or style just to make them change their mind.

But as we all know, that’s the worst thing you can do to your personal brand. It’s not cost-effective to convince a person who dislikes you to start liking you, plus in most cases, it won’t work anyway because they hold prejudice against you. And obviously, you are not genuine if you are restraining yourself for that reason, and that’s hardly charismatic.


In summary, the right mindset you should develop is: Be yourself, care about what other people think, just don’t bother thinking about what others think of you. This way, you are being genuine without losing yourself, and that’s how you develop your charisma.

You just need to remember the fact that no one can define your value apart from yourself. Their thoughts of you don’t mean anything, and you should do what it feels right to you, and when you have this belief, you will be emitting an aura of confidence and that’s what makes you charismatic.

A never-settled millennial that likes to write topics about career and personal finance for the like-minded.

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